There is an unfortunate trend of some women using their children to hurt the father after the relationship has concluded. This counterproductive parenting strategy is most present when the man has damaged the woman. There are several fundamental flaws with this type of behavior. To begin, only the child suffers when their father is not present. Secondly, there are enough men who are not interested in seeing their kids. To prevent a concerned father from seeing their children is downright evil. And third, the woman is revealing much information about herself. She shows she is comfortable depriving their children of their birthright to settle a score.
Too often, we hear about deadbeat dads and how they refuse to step up to the plate and raise their children. We do this without realizing that a woman that weaponizes her children against the father is equivalent to a deadbeat dad. Personal issues between the parents should remain separate from the child. The irony behind such behavior is that these women have singlehandedly chosen to be single mothers. However, that will not stop them from portraying themselves as involuntary single mothers in an attempt to receive sympathy and praise.
There is convenient hypocrisy with weaponizing children post-relationship. The father was good enough to be a father while in the relationship. However, since the relationship, the mother brings to light many things she knows she can use in court to have the father’s visitation rights either suspended or significantly reduced. These include but are not limited to drug use, criminal record, and other illegal activities. My favorite scenario is the women who date drug dealers. These women are often well taken care of and, in some cases, do not work. Once the relationship concludes, they decide to expose the dad’s operation to the lawyers and, eventually, the judge.
It is not to say that illegal activity is not a concerning lifestyle to exhibit in front of children. However, the timing of such revelations is foul play and self-righteousness. It was ok for the child to be exposed to their criminal father when his or her parents were together, but so-called immediate action needs to be taken once the relationship has concluded. The weaponizing children tactic usually backfires. As kids grow older, they will miss the absent parent, and if they ever find out the truth, the child will blame the mother for their father’s absence. It is best not to play games with a child’s life and handle breakups maturely. Failure to do so can show that one’s child has developmental, psychological, and emotional issues that are likely to be sustained well into adulthood.
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