I am about to drop free game. You need to listen if you are a woman who strongly desires to marry or date within your race. If you don’t want to date someone from a country you can’t pronounce, a language you can’t understand, and a culture that doesn’t welcome you, this blog is for you. Black men and women have been at each other’s throats for quite some time, and there is no better evidence than social media that the hate is real.
What I may have to say may hurt some feelings. Feel free to ignore me and go back to your original plan that has worked so well. Both genders have contributed to the current dysfunction. Everybody will be called out. However, it will feel that I am talking more to Black women; this is not an attack against my sisters. But men, whether Black or any other race, will find them a wife. She may be a mail-to-order bride and can’t speak the language, but they are walking down the aisle. However, Black women suffer the most from the gender war, and out of both sexes are the least likely to marry; we got to address this.
Single-parent homes have seen to it that the Black community has almost as many boys perpetrating as men as actual men ready to handle their business. The emotional immaturity of many Black men contributes to them abandoning their responsibilities, leaving countless Black women to do more than their share in the household. Ongoing fatherless homes will see that immature and emotionally unstable Black men always exist, but here is the secret, Black women don’t have to choose them.
Immature Black men and mature Black men occupy the same planet, and contrary to popular belief, Becky with the good hair is not their first option. Many Black women waste their early reproductive years focusing on the wrong type of guy. By the time many Black women figure it out, Becky and Alejandra have already swooped in and taken the same boy you grew up with whom you paid no mind. You are left stuck fighting with the scrubs that will never get it done. Instead of taking responsibility for wasting their own time, many Black women bash all men like it’s a sport.
In our community, we break down our best options and build up our worst; this can occur on both sides. Men will entertain girls willing to give it all, and girls fawn over the charismatic guy that all the other girls want. Contrary to what your peers or even ignorant ass parents may tell you, there is no time to waste. The moment your sense becomes accessible, you are to use it. You don’t enter any relationship where you can see when and how it will end. There is no this is for now. Remember, experiments come with risks, and most fail. Like a student preparing for the ACT and college admissions exams, you are preparing to be someone worth courting.
There are no rumors to abound because you were not there. THAT is how you get the doctor, not twerking on TikTok. Ok, I’m done with how to win when you are 16. Feel free to pass this on to your children. Now, on to you; if you are reading this, it is because you are much older and looking for answers to your current predicament. To reconnect, we will have to do something that I know will annoy many women: to consider Black men’s perspective.
If a man is expected to be the one who proposes, you can’t ignore the condition in which he is willing to do so. Hopefully, by now, you have accepted that we are talking about real men, not immature, emotionally unstable boys perpetrating as men. The immature boy could be your child’s father. However, we are talking about real men, those that are left. Regardless of race and culture, men tend to date and marry fertile, loyal, attractive, and cooperative women.
Black women do not appear to be any different than other women regarding attractiveness, loyalty, ability, and willingness to have children. However, cooperativeness is where many Black women self-sabotage. For some reason, a Black woman who is stubborn and combative is not considered problematic amongst Black women. Unless the goal is to marry one of your Black girlfriends, their affirmations are irrelevant to your pursuit of a relationship with a Black man. Using past losers, you CHOSE to date as excuses to be unreasonable with new prospects is why you are alone now.
A Black woman that serves her man makes his food, runs his bath, massages his feet, and follows his lead is often mocked and criticized. I am married to a Black woman who can attest that countless older bitter Black women who failed at love have encouraged her to ensure she is winning and have advised her to do less in our relationship. They tell her to make decisions without my input and not to tell me certain things, lie about certain things, and keep a secret private account. These are the same women that complain about the current state of men.
The above example shows their self-righteousness and the assumption that they are owed a good man regardless of their poor character, which is why they are now alone. The inability to see oneself guarantees that an individual will come up empty in many of their pursuits. If it is not clear by now, the end to the gender war begins with self-reflection. Before looking for a good man, are you a good woman? If you are a good woman, is this only been validated by yourself? Have your past lovers experienced you as poorly as you experienced them?
When you are in order, you can receive what is for you. You will remain alone when you are raging, bitter, and contentious. You cannot bully someone into looking in your direction and wanting to be with you. People that know their worth move in silence. They won’t partake in the gender war, and they are somewhere else, walking down the aisle, honeymooning, and starting families. I’m sure many of you remember that bop from K Michelle “Can’t Raise a Man.” I can’t lie; I like that song too. She did that but wait a minute, is K Michelle mature and emotionally stable? Does she seem ready to be someone’s wife?
I hope K Michelle gets there. She is an excellent songwriter with a great voice, but she spent all that time focusing on immature boys; she overlooked that we have never seen her on-screen, not in drama. I like K Michelle, but she is an example of many women making choices but wanting no claim to the consequences. Let’s end the war. If you take this blog, set fire to it, and throw it in the fireplace, you are part of the problem. Keep screaming, keep kicking, and the men you desire will keep curbing.
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