It’s been a year since you separated from your ex, and now you feel ready to date again. You go on a few dates, but you are frustrated with your perceived quality of men. To release your frustration, log in to your social media account and begin reposting memes and writing cryptic messages that allude to the lackluster pickings of available men.
Posting cryptic messages has become your routine. The act seems harmless; after all, you are only venting. To a certain degree, you are having fun and just saying what everybody supposedly knows. Besides, no one is paying your post any attention, especially guys you may be interested in, or that may be interested in you. However, you could not be more wrong. Men are paying attention, steering clear of approaching you because you seem bitter, wounded, and likely confrontational. Women are vocal about what they want, while men tend to move in silence, not revealing everything in their minds. They methodically rule women out by their perceived level of agreeability.
Men tend to pursue the path of least resistance; this is how average-looking women have an easier time securing a ring than the beauty queen that addresses every physical detail to maximize her attractiveness. Unfortunately, the extensive effort put into vanity does not always transfer to self-awareness, politeness, and emotional intelligence. You are not the only woman who has to play the field and come up empty; this applies to men and women. However, your entitlement and inflated view of self-worth have you looking for a guy that doesn’t exist, and even if he did, you probably don’t deserve him.
Frustrated, you vent endlessly on social media, posting cryptic messages and sharing memes that degrade men. Your behavior makes you a mark, and you have no clue. Men have telepathically communicated to one another; don’t talk to her. She has problems. Whether your post is about your inner feelings or you are throwing a fit, it does not matter. You may be pleasant and fun in real life, but your dating pool has shrunk to the guys that are only interested in you physically. You are getting passed up for girls that look like Pepper Anne because Pepper Ann is kind, appreciative, and not entitled.
If it is not clear yet, you are scaring decent men away. You are like a scarecrow protecting the crops. Not only should your post about men not be cryptic, but they should be limited. Posting too much about men can still raise red flags that you are a woman to avoid. Men will assume that women who post chronically about men carry some severe baggage and are desperate. Guys tend to believe desperate women will also be clingy and likely to want to rush the relationship. As many men are slow to commit, a woman who chronically posts about being in a relationship lowers her dating stock.
Social media is not an ideal medium to voice serious concerns. The superficial context of social media demonstrates that people are more interested in what each other is doing than how each other feels. Everything that individuals posts become part of their virtual reputations, and just as there are consequences for what individuals say publicly, so is there for what is posted online. It is advisable that women carefully consider the impact of what they post online about the opposite sex.
One of the unique aspects of social media is that one never knows who is watching. Many good men and women could miss the opportunity to get to know each other because of what one posts on their page. Social media is like text messaging, and there is not enough context on social media to know for sure what a person is trying to communicate. Individuals can jump to the wrong conclusions, making it less likely that a union forms.
Overcoming the threats cryptic posting does to one’s dating stock requires that posts are positive and diverse. Instead of venting about what one does not want, post about what one does want but diversify the topics. Some posts can be about relationships, but others must be about other aspects of one’s life. No post should take passive-aggressive digs at the opposite sex. Taking these steps will remove any negative stigma associated with people who post cryptic messages and attacks, at the very least, not making you appear unstable and someone to avoid.
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